AAAAAARGH. Yesterday I decided I'd had it. Yes, I've had it. I'm so frustrated with my sweet adorable kids. Tim and I spent a few hours making dinner together, and all I did was talk about my frustrations with our kids. I have a list about ten miles long of all the problems that I don't know how to fix. Yesterday however, I cracked. I think I'll start with Corben.....CORBEN
The kid won't eat. I'm don't mean he's picky, I mean HE WON'T EAT. He has a few food items that he lives off of. String cheese, pop tarts, yogurt (sometimes) Square waffles, peanut butter and jelly, and tomatoes. The kid doesn't eat meat. He won't try food. He is the most willful, and frustrating child in the world. We decided that he would sit at the table with us for dinner, we'd fix him a plate of what I cooked, and he could either sit, or sit and eat. He could not have anything but what I fixed. If he didn't want to eat it, he could go to bed hungry. He chose to be hungry EVERY night. I think that lasted 7 days before I started wondering if this was a form of child abuse. He refuses to eat. He wont' eat pizza, spaghetti, hamburgers, hot dogs, and good luck getting him to even taste anything foreign. The kid weighs 35 pounds. HE'S 6! I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with him, does he need a psychiatrist? He just won't eat, and I'm secretly wishing his friends at school will tease him, so he'll have some peer pressure to try pizza!
RYLISSA
The girl has tantrums. Oh my goodness tantrums. She's afraid of her room, which I'm not sure why, she has to sleep with her bedroom light on all night, or she goes crazy. Seriously crazy. Last night, she spent an hour screaming at us because we wouldn't read her a story. I told her she could either pick up the puzzles, or the little people. If she did one of those, she got a story, if not, no story. She didn't, so no story. That ended up in her screaming and running out of her room begging for a story, then screaming that she hates daddy, and wanting mommy. She finally passed out, and about midnight woke up asking for a drink. I was taking care of Tayzia, and said she could have a water bottle. No, she wanted lemonade, I said I'm not making lemonade at midnight, she started screaming. I gave her a water bottle, then she wanted me to write her name on it (I didn't), then she wanted to be covered, then a story, then her light on, then her door open, then she was hungry. After an hour of listening to her shriek through her door all the things she wanted, I went in there turned off her light and told her to be quiet or I'd leave it off. I know, maybe not the nicest, but come on I'M TIRED. This tirade lasted until about 1:30 in the morning. She's 5! Come on, shouldn't she know that screaming and kicking and yelling and waking everyone up is pointless? I didn't' give into any of her whims, but I tell you, I was MAD!
TAYZIA
She's cute and adorable and lovable of course, but man she's JEALOUS. That girl won't let anyone near me, even Tim sometimes without a major fit of tears. I feel for the other kids because once they start getting cuddles Tayzia freaks out, and pulls hair, hits and scratches. It's so hard to ignore it so the others don't feel left out, but man oh man she's good at being mean. I hope it's just an 18 month old thing, and that someday she'll learn to share her mommy.
Okay, I don't' really hate my children, though this post may make it seem I do. I love them so much, which is why these things bother me so. I don't want them to be socially awkward, or to have habits that will get them bullied or teased. I want Corben to be healthy, and I want Rylissa to be sweet. I want Tayzia to share, and I just want us all to be happy. Stay tuned for their good qualities!
6 comments:
Hey Angie! I think its good to write these things down too. One day your kids will read it and see life was real. They were real kids and yes, even mom had hard days. Sometimes I think we try to sound to perfect and sweet. Good luck with everything. You are a great Mom!
My heart goes out to you right now. I hope things melow down for your sake.
That's totally understandable! Don't feel bad and don't think that you're a horrible parent. Sometimes kids just suck, usually it's someone else's kids but sometimes it's yours. You're a good Mom and it's the hardest job ever! Keep up the great work and eventually it has to get better.
Angie,
Oh girl, I can relate on picky eaters. My boy is the same way. He doesn't eat anything, unless PBJ and Cheese and crackers are a staple of life. Yogurt, milk, cereal and treats are his other loves. No fruits, no vegetables, no rice, no noodles, no meat (unless it's a chicken nugget from McDonalds - store bought ones are rejected).
Anyway, sounds like what you were doing with the dinner thing is the right idea. I've been trying to do this whole Love and Logic thing. Here is the link for a book review. http://rachelsbooklist.blogspot.com/2008/09/love-and-logic-for-early-childhood.html
I haven't read the book yet, because I'm on the library wait list. The key is using sympathy so the kid knows you feel for their situation, then you give them a choice. Whatever they choose is their choice, but then they get the consequence of their choice. The logic part is the child begins to figure out (in Corbin's case) that if he doesn't eat dinner he will be hungry until breakfast. One can only hope that eventually the kid will start eating. The hard part is for the parent. Just know he won't let himself starve to death. Doctors always say that about kids. Kids know when they are hungry, and what I always hear is to keep offering kids healthy choices. I hope that helps. Sorry I'm so long winded.
I totally understand where you are coming from here...you are so not alone.
I'm mean. I'm of the "I am in charge and you are not and there is NOTHING that is going to change that dynamic and you can protest all you want but in the end, I am the parent here, not you" mindset. So bearing that in mind...
Since he weighs a good ten pounds less than my twiggy 5.5 year old I would maybe take him in. That being said, I would NOT start cooking two meals. If I keep trying to feed them, they'll eat when they are hungry.
Let her scream. We used to put a doorknob cover on the inside of Tess' door at night. She would not stay in her bed and screamed and carried on if things weren't just so. I put her to bed one time and then I am done. This is her obsessive bedtime routine, not yours.
Let her scream too. Seriously she is going to have to let go a little bit here in the very near future if you are going to get her to go to nursery. When my kids were that age and started being nasty to people, hitting and all that, I would put them in the crib for a few minutes to collect themselves and then try again.
If all else fails see if you can catch an episode or two of Super Nanny. That ALWAYS makes me feel better about my kids...
I found your blog through your facebook. Let me tell you, I feel your pain about the food thing. Allyson (my second) does not eat protein. Sometimes chicken nuggets and peanut butter. I was told that w/ the peanut butter sandwiches add another tablespoon and the protein is covered. I know people say don't make two meals, but if that is what Allyson wants, I make it. But that is her only choice. You might feel bad about constantly making the same thing over and over for your kid, but you and he/she are happy. I hope this helps you a bit.
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