Taking a Break

Yesterday I made a decision. It wasn't a hard decision, it was just a surprise actually. I've been feeling rather down this week. I couldn't figure out why. No one was being mean, the kids weren't total monsters. I wasn't fighting with Tim. In fact, nothing was really wrong, except me. Tim came home for lunch and point blank asked me if I was depressed. I'm thinking in my head, really? You really think that? I asked him if he thought I was, and he said no, but that I seemed really down, and wasn't sure why. So I vented. I started just talking and talking about whatever came into my head, and I realized that I was stressed. I have been doing a lot of cakes for people lately, cakes and cookies. I love making them, and I've been so excited to do them. The problem, I realized, is the time. Before Davin was born, when I'd do them, I would bake, and frost during the day, while the kids were at school. I stopped when Tim got home, and we had our evenings. Davin, has made that difficult. I usually have to wait until Tim comes home, so that someone can distract him. He is a happy baby, but he will only stay out of my arms for a certain amount of time before he gives up and starts to cry. He also started teething, and that has been difficult on all of us. (thankfully both teeth are now in, so hopefully the crying stops). I realized that I've been stressed out because I'm feeling like I'm ignoring my kids during the day, then I'm ignoring everyone at night, so that I can create for other people. I also realized that if I have to ask someone else to help me with my baby, so I can do this, then maybe it isn't such a great idea right now. I brought this on myself, and I'm well aware of it. I just sort of assumed that I could do it all, now that Tim is home. I can do it, but the sacrifice right now, just doesn't seem right. So I decided to take a break from cakes. I don't know for how long, but right after I made the decision, and put it out there for the world (basically all my friends who order things from me), my mood lifted incredibly. All of a sudden I felt lighter, I felt free. Don't get me wrong, I adore making cakes. I plan to do it more, just not right now. Right now, I think I really need to pay attention to me, and the little ones. When the little ones are more self-reliant, well, then I think I can start up again. When I don't have to stop every hour and a half to feed one of them, or change a diaper. I was so busy with baking, my house became a disaster. Everything was a mess, and I couldn't take the time to clean it, because I needed that time to finish this or that for one of the projects. I guess I just needed to put some priorities in order. Thank you to all my wonderful friends who've let me create for you. I've loved every cake I've made! The experience has been absolutely wonderful!